I have been remiss in my blogging. I have many good excuses: I have been fighting a bad cold, trying to finalize my lease of an apartment that took me an epic 5 months to find, and as I have mentioned before, I have commitment issues. What do you expect, people?! In my life, procrastination can wage a wily campaign. It’s a battle, and often it wins. Also, there has been little to report. I am sorry to say that my victorian-styled personal ad has not as yet secured me a suitable suitor. That’s not to say there hasn’t been a plethora of gentleman showing interest in my shapely ankles and love of bacon. Oh, indeed there has! Most recently, one gentleman who emailed me wrote,”u needed a little zep in your life”. I am not even sure what that means. Another simply wrote, “bacon, bacon, bacon….BACON!”
Surprisingly my Victorian ad, which says really nothing about me as person, and has only the mysterious image of me from this blog, where my face is completely obscured, has in fact generated considerably more attention than my “real” personal ad that outlines my many interests and showcases images of me in various daily life scenarios.
At the very least it has been an interesting social experiment in what men on dating websites really find interesting. Clearly a little mystery goes a long way. But who knew what magic could come from the mere mention of bacon? I would have to say, about 95% of those men who have messaged me through my Victorian-styled personal ad have commented (at times salaciously!) on my mention of bacon in my ad. Somehow, I must try to work bacon and a little mystery into my “real” personal ad and see if this improves traffic to my profile.
Traffic or not though, I am not convinced, despite my many, many years of commitment to the on-line dating strategy, that this is how I will actually meet my Mr. Darcy. Recently I came across a bus stop posting that I thought might prove more promising. It was an invitation to a Jane Austen era inspired dance by an organization called Jane Austen Dancing. I was amazed that such a thing exists, but even more amazing was that the event was sold out! They have a Christmas ball coming up however, and I just may see if I can cajole some friends into going with me. It could be fun or weird and painful, but undoubtedly there will be SEVERAL Mr. Darcies to choose from there!
Still there is also no harm in keeping my two internet ads up and seeing what happens. In fact, just the other day, I emailed someone from my Victorian-styled ad who is “looking for someone who still believes in chivalry”. Well, Stookie, likes to have doors opened for her! Sure, she may trip across the threshold, red-faced and uttering some non-sensical thanks that sounds more like an apology, but she loves it just the same. So who knows. It’s worth a shot, right?
I know Dolly Parton would agree. She once said: “You’ll never do a whole lot unless you’re brave enough to try.” Beside the likes of Amelia Earhart and Lady Gaga, I think I would be remiss not to add the name of Miss Dolly Parton, to my growing list of interesting people. Sure lots of people make fun of her, but I’ve always really loved Dolly Parton. She has an unwavering sense of purpose and commitment to that purpose that’s hard not to admire. She recorded her first song at the age of 13. She has since composed over 3,000 songs, and remains one of the best selling artists of all time. She’s approaching her 50th wedding anniversary to her husband Carl, who she met at the Wishy Washy laundromat the first day she arrived in Nashville to pursue her music career at the age of 18. So I think there are some things I could learn from Dolly about commitment and purpose and certainly, about being interesting! In an effort to learn what I can, I have started reading her autobiography .
In case you’re skeptical , or have forgotten just how great Dolly Parton can be, I have a little exercise for you. I want you to rate how you are feeling right now on a scale of 1 to 10 and then I challenge you to watch this video of one of her most famous duets (and now a Karaoke favourite!) ALL THE WAY THROUGH, and rate yourself again on that scale after you’ve watched it. I will be amazed if you don’t feel a little cheered after. That’s the power of Dolly! I’d like to hear how you found this little exercise!
In terms of the re-education exercise of posting a personal ad in the Victorian style, I think its important to note that I have certainly learned a good deal. Let’s review:
(1) Mystery and bacon can take you far.
(2) It’s useful to move out of your comfort zone sometimes and connect with yourself in a new way, like when you decide to wear the dress that’s been at the back of your closet for years. Tapping into myself in the Victorian way allowed me to open up to the possibility of people I otherwise might not have approached or considered as a match….and I also learned, that probably that’s for a good reason!
And so, while I am not abandoning my internet dating efforts, I think it is now time for me to turn my hand to something new….What will it be?? Stay tuned. Once I have moved into my new apartment (this weekend – Yay!), I will refocus my re-education efforts, bringing renewed energy to whatever new learning lies ahead for me!
- See Dolly Parton’s Beauty Evolution (bellasugar.com)